Perception jokes

I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.

Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."

Turns out Christopher was adopted.

No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.

It's just true.

When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?

I can hear the whole world booing me.

What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.

A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.

You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.

I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?

I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.

Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.

What is the similarity between a joke and food?

Some people just don't get them!

You know, most people take rocks for granite... sorry.

Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.

How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?

The dog lead went slack.

What is Helen Keller's favorite color?

Velcro.

I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.

Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?

Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.

Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.