Perception jokes

Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.

Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.

Dark humor is like water. Some people get it, some people don't.

You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

Why can't blind people eat fish?

Because it's sea food.

A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

People judge me because I'm quiet.

No one plans a massacre out loud.

People say that life is short.

I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.

A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."

What do you call a dad in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

You got a dig bick.

You read that wrong.

You read that wrong too.

Maybe you read that wrong as well.

You just went and back-checked.

You reread all of that.

You have a pet wussy.

You read that wrong...

You need mental help.

I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.

Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!

Mom: Exactly.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you?

Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?

I just found out I'm colorblind. It came out of the yellow.

I am glass! People see right through me.

One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.