How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
Dark humor is like water.
Not everybody gets it.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"
In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
Dark humor is like sex. Not everyone gets it.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
Im autistic myself so dont go crying in my comment section.
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer. One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. ̈I will go ask God! ̈ So, he asks God, and God chuckles. ̈You are what you are! ̈ The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, ̈What is wrong? ̈ The zebra answers, ̈Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied ́You are what you are! ́ ̈ His friend says, ̈Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said ́You is what you is! ́
Adam and eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?" Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." so adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?" God says, " You are what you are." Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
