You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple.
Purple.
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
An autistic man walks into a bra.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman? Getting her husband‘s voice just right
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
Yo mama so ugly, she made everybody's face fall off.
