Perception jokes

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"

Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.

I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.

Wanna see something dark?

Close your eyes.

Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...

If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?

Nothing.

I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.

Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

Yo hairline so ugly, it looks like a newfound constellation.

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.

What did the right eye say to the left eye?

"Between you and me, something smells!"

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.

Them: You're ugly.

Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.

Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.