Perception jokes

We can only see 90 degrees.

What's handsome and smart, you can hear him and see him? It's you good-looking guys! So sad you can't read this since you're blind. Oh geez, I just found this website and I want to make people laugh. Too bad they can't see the joke.

I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you?

When a midget smokes weed, does it get medium?

Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.

What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.

He said it was the most violent book he ever read.

I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.

You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.

Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!

When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?

Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?

Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.

Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.

Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."

Turns out Christopher was adopted.

Why are blind people gay?

Cause.

Who is the blindest person in the world?

What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?

The sea.

So a blind man walks into a bar.

At least he thinks so.

Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my blind friend couldn’t see, she said, “Open yo eyes!”

I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.

We don't read backwards.