Perception jokes

Yo hairline so bad when people see it, they turn to stone.

You're so short, Aiden looked tall.

Your hairline is so discombobulated, it looks like a geometrical shape.

Your head was mistaken for a chicken wing.

Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.

Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"

Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed my friend who was on LSD. "I See a Dreamer."

I see 6 letters in "the past."

I have 2020 vision.

I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.

Yo mama so ugly, she made everybody's face fall off.

Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.

Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.

How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?

When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.

Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.

What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right.

The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...

And then it hit me.

Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*

Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."

When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?

Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.

Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?

Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"

What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?

They can’t see their parents.