Perception jokes

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.

You're so short, Aiden looked tall.

Your hairline is so discombobulated, it looks like a geometrical shape.

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed my friend who was on LSD. "I See a Dreamer."

Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.

Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"

Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."

Want to see a funny joke? Look in the mirror.

I see 6 letters in "the past."

I have 2020 vision.

I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.

What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?

We don't live in their heads.

Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.

Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.

How do you break up two blind guys fighting?

Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"

What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right.

Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.

Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.

Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?

Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"

The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...

And then it hit me.

What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?

We're both blind.

Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.

Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*

Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"

Yo mama so ugly, she made everybody's face fall off.