Perception jokes
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
Yo mama is so ugly, she turned a knife into a statue.
Guess who I saw at school today?
Everyone I looked at. loooooooool
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.
We never met again.
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
Why could the blind man not see?
Answer: Because he is blind.
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
What is blue but smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
Dark humor is a lot like food.
Not everyone gets it.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
Why couldn’t the house see?
The blinds were down.