Perception jokes
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.
We never met again.
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
Why could the blind man not see?
Answer: Because he is blind.
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
What is blue but smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
Dark humor is a lot like food.
Not everyone gets it.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
Why couldn’t the house see?
The blinds were down.
Why can’t blind people sing [if] that can’t hear because they can see the lyrics?
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.