People jokes
My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.
We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.
I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed.
In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”
Gay people would suck at war.
What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome.
People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.
You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"
They jinxed it by saying "never sink."
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away. if you throw it hard enough.
He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.
In fact, they hang with them!
Society
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
"Stop, that's mean! You're making fun of people with Down syndrome!"