People jokes
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?
Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
People claim that Trump has Russian ties.
FAKE NEWS!
All of Trump's ties are made in China.
Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.
Why can't black people have nightmares? Cause we shot the last one that had a dream.
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
What do Polish people in Poland use chop sticks for?
tweezers.
Why do gay people get bad grades?
Because they don't get straight A's.
I'm the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
I hate straight people.
What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?
Black people don't shoot up schools.
I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.
The plane crashed. There are 5 seats in Bordeaux and usually 4 parachute seats.
The first song goes: "I am Cristiano Ronaldo, the best player in the world, so fly with the first helmet."
One of Ivanka Trump's former supporters said: "I was the US President's teacher." And take an umbrella and fly.
Former US Secretary of State Donald Trump said: "I am the President of the United States. I am the president of the United States of America, not responsible to the people. Design our package and jump."
"I'm glad," said the next passenger, Popstag, as he approached. Then the boy explained: "I still can't see anyone's problem. The President of the United States is in my bag..."
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.