People

People jokes

Reaction

    • People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.

    Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.

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    • People memes

    President

    • Hillary Clinton is elected president...

    And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

    The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."

    She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

    The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

    The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."

    She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

    On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

    The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."

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    • Advert

    • Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

    And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.

    Asshole

    • A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.

    The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"

    The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"

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    • State

    • What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?

    Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔

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