People jokes
My family.
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
Post Malone was in the hospital, but he is BETTER NOW.
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
Memes
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?
They left someone for memories!
Why can’t English people play chess? They ain't got no queen.
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.