People jokes

What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?

They're always cutting.

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?

Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.

Why can't Chinese people play baseball?

Because they ate the bat.

Yo mama so fat...

...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.

Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.

You have a father figure.

There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.

Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

In life, some people have it harder than others.

That's why Viagra exists.

How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

With a taste test.

What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.

Why do leftists strive for a literate population?

So people can understand their wall of text memes.

What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?

They both enjoy digging up the past.

People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"

"Yeah, over my dead body!"

What do you call plane crash victims?

Down to earth people.

Why don't orphans like getting lost?

Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"

What do you call an apartment full of black people?

A CON-dominium.

What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."