Pedophile jokes

OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.

But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.

Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.

Jacob Wheet, if you don't understand, look it up.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.

What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.

I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.

Then: You want free candy?

Now: You want free Wi-Fi?

Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."

What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.

What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

Where do pedophiles go hunting?

Elementary schools.

What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

What shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.

you.

Greg fucking steals toes!

Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...

What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.

Lol, dick, I'm the dick and duck.

What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?

Kum and Go.

My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.