What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
Mans got dat big bati u know
Pooooop.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
My life.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
