Pedophile jokes
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
My life.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.