Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke
He said "you'll understand when you get older"
in the hospital i saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep the icu was going beep beep beep i think thats why she cant sleep so I turned it of shes asleep forever now nighty night
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left? Doctor: Ten. Man: Weeks? Months? Days? Doctor Nine, eight, seven...
What did the bird to the hospital for? For tweetment!
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient. "Give me the good news first," the patient said. "Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live." "That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "I've been trying to reach you for two days."
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live - the doctor replied tu-more
when you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and British news reporter in south They usually don’t live to tell the tale
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.” “Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
I got evicted from the hospital today For telling all the patients to stay positive! What a negative effect!
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient. He was a great vet.
Doctor: You should stop masturbating. Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
Went to the doctor told him Ive been having dreams first about a wigwam then about a teepee he said I was 2 tents
A Doctor walks into his office and look his paitent in the eyes "Sir you have to stop Jerking off." The Man ask "Why?" The Doctor then says "Because im trying to examin you."
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia? The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
The patient said when will this be over? "The doctor said after you die." The patient says "was that a morbid joke." The doctor says "well um actually you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure." The patient says "well its a bright day maybe if you weren't clumsy."
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
Patient: Doctor I feel like a needle Doctor: I see your point
