Partner jokes

A nickname to call your short GF:

Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok

There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."

If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.

FREE MY ÑIGGA EDP HE INNOCENT ONCE UPON A TIME I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE AND HE FARTED SO GAHDAMN MUCH INTO MY MOUTH THAT I STARTED DROOLING A HERSHEY WATERFALL THIS ÑIGGA IS SO SEXY AND I LOVE WHEN HE SITS HIS FAT ASS ON TOP OF ME TYSON U JUST JEALOUS YOU AIN’T GOT NO ONE LIKE BRYANT U RETARDED LOOKING ASS BITCH I DARE YOU TO GET A PARTNER AS LOYAL AND INNOCENT AS EDP FREE MY ÑIGGA BIG HOMIE CHEESE HEAD 474747 HE INNOCENT.

What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?

He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.

Why can't the skeleton go to the dance?

Because he has "no body" to go with!

What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?

"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"

There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!

Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.

69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120

58008 (flip calculator)

Boobless.

TFW you're having sex with your German girlfriend and she won't stop telling you her age.

Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.

Plus, she's too young to smoke.

My gf told me she was pregnant, so I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me why the hell I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.

When you meet your gf at the family reunion.

Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?

Neither one of them, they eat out.

Q. What does Jeffrey Epstein get his sex partners for their birthday? A. Crayons.

How is sex like a game of bridge?

If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.

Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.

When your girlfriend tells you she's a guy: "What, bitch? Naw, hell no!"

My girlfriend is like treasure to me.

You need a shovel to find her.

Why is it hard having a relationship with an astronaut?

Because they are always so distant. :-]

When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?