Partner jokes

Why is it hard having a relationship with an astronaut?

Because they are always so distant. :-]

I finally got a girlfriend.

Her name is Remington Model 32.

I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.

I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."

Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.

What do you call your mom?

My wwwwiiiiiifffffffeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!@#$%

I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.

What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?

I don't have a girlfriend.

Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.

My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.

We had sex afterwards even though she lost.

What’s something you might say at sea, but not at your partner?

Land ho!

It’s nice hitting it from the back when my wife has wide hips.

Her butt cheeks look like big huge ball sacks as my thighs smack up against them when I’m thrusting. I like to finish off by grinding my weiner up and down her back like a gay man frotting his schlong on his partner’s ding dong.

I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.

Dogs are better relationship partners than you. Wanna know why? They're loyal, patient, love unconditionally, smart. Traits you clearly lack, you cheating ass bitch.

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

What does Hitler's partner say when he begins?

"Hindin!"

Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?

Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.

Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.

Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.