Partner jokes
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
Who did the bee 🐝 marry?
Her honey!
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
Who wants to be my boyfriend?
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
TFW you're having sex with your German girlfriend and she won't stop telling you her age.
Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
What’s something you can say about your clothes but not your partner?
It’s just a rental.
Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.