Parenthood Jokes

Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"

Also me: "Throw it."

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

What’s the bravest thing a man can do?

Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.

Baby (DYM 108).

Once upon a time, three babies were born in 2015. She was always crying for 2015. He loves her birth date. 🤗😈🤗🤕🤒no🤗🤑😱😎🙌🙏🙈🙉🙊

"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?

What would you call a cover for your cock?

Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave Uncle Willie an idea.

What does your mum have in common with your dad?

They are both men.

Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.

Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."

How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!

A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.

What do people have that orphans don't? A family.

Mom, am I adopted?

What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.

I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)

My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby

And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)