I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son
“Oh daddy,” the kid said. “I love you so much!” “Hey,” the man responded. “Until we get the DNA test results, I’m just Harry to you!”
Why do Orphans go to Chruch? So that they can call someone Father
mom said dad had the best pullout game... now im an uncle
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children. So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children. If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Me: a lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant. Friend: like what? Me: my name, my address, my phone number...
+1 like = 1 kid in my basment
+1 follower =1 kid in my Microwave
+1 Comet
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq I never had kids
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
I'd like to have kids one day. I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure. One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four.
What does the 14 year old and the fetus inside her have in common. They both say, "Ohh sh*t my mom is going to kill me."
Once upon a time the three baby was born I 2015 she was always cry for 2015 he loves her born date 🤗😈🤗🤕🤒no🤗🤑😱😎🙌🙏🙈🙉🙊
Adopted kid: Imadea big mastake Dad: You are one
what's the name of a cannibals favorite all you can eat buffet ? planned parenthood !
I had a new blonde" part's expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire.. the part's guy was assuming she didn't know about planned parenthood? .. 😂🤣
Can people please shut up about 'male privileges'. There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood, men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of “women only” events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic depute
Women have the right to rape a man or boy and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up feminists please.
