Parenthood jokes
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
Baby (DYM 108).
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What did the dad say to the kid?
"U got to be kidding me."
I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)
My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby
And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
Baby 🍼
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
Why can’t orphans have dad jokes? Because they don’t got one.
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.