Parenthood jokes
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
Baby (DYM 108).
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
Baby 🍼
What did the dad say to the kid?
"U got to be kidding me."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)
My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby
And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
Why can’t orphans have dad jokes? Because they don’t got one.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?
The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.
What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.
That one never gets old, just like the baby.