Parenthood jokes
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."
Me:.....
I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)
My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby
And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
no no no no no no no no no
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.