My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
Me: a lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant. Friend: like what? Me: my name, my address, my phone number...
what's the name of a cannibals favorite all you can eat buffet ? planned parenthood !
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
I'd like to have kids one day. I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.
