Parent jokes
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
Why did orphans eat ice cream cones?
Because they can't eat a family pack.
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(
Who needs parents to be great?
Why did my parents walk to the other side?
...Why?
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.
What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?
Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.
Q: What type of flowers do orphans hate? A: Mums.
Orphans are so useless even their parents agree.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?
Because they won't be there to stick around.