Parent jokes
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck
"I think my baby is so similar to me!"
"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"
What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?
You don’t need parental consent.
Three children play hide and seek. Their names are Silence, Anger, and Parent. Anger counts. Parent hides in the trash. Silence is at the police station.
A policeman looks at Silence and asks: "What is your name?" Silence replies: "Silence." Terrified, the policeman asks: "Where are your parents?" Silence then replies: "Parent is in the trash!" The policeman then asks indignantly: "Are you looking for Trouble?" Silence replies: "No, in fact, Anger finds me."
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
Let's see what the orphans are gonna tell their parents about this: "Hey you buttheads, you stink!"
Looks like they didn't tell their parents.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
The parents remember 9/11.
Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?
Wait... nevermind.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
At least the Twin Towers saw the parents they crashed on.
New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."
Student: "But!"
Teacher: "Is something missing?"
Student: "Your parents!"
What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang came back.
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"
My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"
My bully. 😭
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."
The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
What did an Arab say to feed his kid?
'Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second airplane!'
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.