Parent jokes

If Tracy Latimer's parents ever sell the farm, the next owners should turn it into an Airbnb.

I could sleep in Tracy's old room. Or the barn.

I made a website for orphans.

It's all about parents who want children near their location.

Yo mama is so nasty that she sucked your dad's dick and came in to kiss you goodnight.

Son: "Mom, am I adopted?"

Mom: "Yes."

Son: "Where are my real parents?"

Dad: "We are your real parents, so... GET OUT!"

If you’re bored, just punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What kind of beer is an orphan's favorite?

Foster's!

If your parents never had children, chances are, you won't either.

I have a crush on a girl and both her parents are millionaires.

I guess that gives the term "Eat the rich" a whole new meaning.

Chuck Norris drove his parents to school.

I had a teacher named Mr. Stubs. I asked why he was given that name, and he replied, "My parents said my limbs were spare parts."

What do atoms and parents have in common to orphans? You can't see either of them.

They didn't know where to put the orphan. He was returned from the hospital he was born from; the parents gained one cent, while the orphan gained potatoes as friends.

An orphan told me people kept bullying him, so I said, "Tell your parents."

I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.

Q: What's an orphan's favorite porn site?

A: Motherless.

I met a kid at the park. He was holding a picture of his parents in his hands. They had died on 9/11.

So, I went to comfort him. I said, "Hey, I lost my grandpa on 9/11. He was great. At flying a plane."

Your teeth split faster than your parents' divorce settlement.

Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?

Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.

DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:

* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck

"I think my baby is so similar to me!"

"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"