Parent jokes

I had a teacher named Mr. Stubs. I asked why he was given that name, and he replied, "My parents said my limbs were spare parts."

What do atoms and parents have in common to orphans? You can't see either of them.

They didn't know where to put the orphan. He was returned from the hospital he was born from; the parents gained one cent, while the orphan gained potatoes as friends.

An orphan told me people kept bullying him, so I said, "Tell your parents."

I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.

Q: What's an orphan's favorite porn site?

A: Motherless.

I met a kid at the park. He was holding a picture of his parents in his hands. They had died on 9/11.

So, I went to comfort him. I said, "Hey, I lost my grandpa on 9/11. He was great. At flying a plane."

Your teeth split faster than your parents' divorce settlement.

Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?

Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.

DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:

* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck

"I think my baby is so similar to me!"

"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"

What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?

You don’t need parental consent.

Three children play hide and seek. Their names are Silence, Anger, and Parent. Anger counts. Parent hides in the trash. Silence is at the police station.

A policeman looks at Silence and asks: "What is your name?" Silence replies: "Silence." Terrified, the policeman asks: "Where are your parents?" Silence then replies: "Parent is in the trash!" The policeman then asks indignantly: "Are you looking for Trouble?" Silence replies: "No, in fact, Anger finds me."

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"

Let's see what the orphans are gonna tell their parents about this: "Hey you buttheads, you stink!"

Looks like they didn't tell their parents.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?

The parents remember 9/11.

Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?

Wait... nevermind.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?

At least the Twin Towers saw the parents they crashed on.

New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."

Student: "But!"

Teacher: "Is something missing?"

Student: "Your parents!"

What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?

The boomerang came back.