Parent jokes
Why did I get a divorce, you ask? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't get me a present and didn't even wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my co-workers didn't wish me a happy birthday.
As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" That moment, I felt so special. She then asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?"
"Okay," I said.
She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, and my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
Pretend you're an orphan and I'm telling you a joke:
Your mom.
Why can't an orphan ever play baseball?
Because they never found home.
If an orphan gets a girlfriend, they finally have someone to love them.
How do you know an orphan is telling the truth?
When they swear on their mother's grave!
I made a website for orphans.
It's all about parents who want children near their location.
Yo mama is so nasty that she sucked your dad's dick and came in to kiss you goodnight.
Son: "Mom, am I adopted?"
Mom: "Yes."
Son: "Where are my real parents?"
Dad: "We are your real parents, so... GET OUT!"
If youβre bored, just punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What kind of beer is an orphan's favorite?
Foster's!
If your parents never had children, chances are, you won't either.
I have a crush on a girl and both her parents are millionaires.
I guess that gives the term "Eat the rich" a whole new meaning.
Chuck Norris drove his parents to school.
I had a teacher named Mr. Stubs. I asked why he was given that name, and he replied, "My parents said my limbs were spare parts."
What do atoms and parents have in common to orphans? You can't see either of them.
They didn't know where to put the orphan. He was returned from the hospital he was born from; the parents gained one cent, while the orphan gained potatoes as friends.
An orphan told me people kept bullying him, so I said, "Tell your parents."
I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite porn site?
A: Motherless.
I met a kid at the park. He was holding a picture of his parents in his hands. They had died on 9/11.
So, I went to comfort him. I said, "Hey, I lost my grandpa on 9/11. He was great. At flying a plane."