Parent jokes

There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.

I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.

What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?

The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

Who needs parents to be great?

Why did orphans eat ice cream cones?

Because they can't eat a family pack.

Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

Mommy?

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."

Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"

Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?

Because they won't be there to stick around.

Harry Potter is now Harry Orphan.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

Poles are as straight as adopted kids' parents.

Who named their daughter Macadamia?

A couple of nuts.

What do orphans in Batman have in common? They'll never see their parents again.

Why can't an orphan have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy."

Bully: How’s your girlfriend?

Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?

Bully: *cries*

Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*

I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.

We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.