Parent jokes
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
Why does an orphan’s calendar only have 363 days?
There are no Father’s or Mother’s Days on their calendar.
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
Why did the orphan try to fly? It was trying to find its parents.
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
Why did orphans eat ice cream cones?
Because they can't eat a family pack.
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.