Parent jokes

Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,

If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.

Twin Towers are like my parents: 2 left and 1 came back.

Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.

Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.

Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!

If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.

Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.

I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?

If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.

If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!

Bad joke: Why is it easy to bully orphans? Because what are they going to do, tell their parents?

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.

My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.

I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.

Louie's parents tried this.

There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.

What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.

I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.

Why did orphans eat ice cream cones?

Because they can't eat a family pack.

What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?

The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

Who needs parents to be great?

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.

Why did my parents walk to the other side?

...Why?