Parent jokes

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.

A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."

He went home, his parents weren't there.

Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?

They don't have parents to protect them.

Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?

What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?

"When am I gonna see my parents?"

Lmao.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

What's the difference between a cheater and your mom?

They both cheated!

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.

Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?

Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?

Me: It's an autobiography.

If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣

My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!

I met a kid at the park. He was holding a picture of his parents in his hands. They had died on 9/11.

So, I went to comfort him. I said, "Hey, I lost my grandpa on 9/11. He was great. At flying a plane."

1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!

Dad: Oh, OK!

2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.

Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?

Son: I do...

Why is it okay to make fun of orphans?

Because they can't tell their parents.

Johnny Johnny?

Yes pa pa.

Eating sugar?

Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.

If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.

My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.

What do orphans and deaf people have in common?

They can't hear their parents.