Parent jokes

Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!

The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.

Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.

Why can't orphans see their parents?

Because they don't have one!

Hey girl, are you an orphan?

Oh, that’s right, I’m your daddy.

Stranger: Do you want a lollipop?

Kid: No, I hate lollipops, so yeah, and you are not my daddy.

Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.

What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.

Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?

Because they don't have a family to go with.

I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.

I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.

Why can’t orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.

But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.

Someone telling a joke:

Boy: "My parents are dead."

Girl: "My grandad is too."

Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"

Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"

Just to an orphan.

Orphan: You're stupid.

You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orphan.

Orphan who?

Are you my mommy?

Why can’t an orphan celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day? Because they have no parents.

Why did the Orphan have imaginary parents?

Because his last parents existed.

Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?

Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.

I was walking, and I saw an orphan, and I said, "Where are your parents?"

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't find his parents.

I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.

Her pants were on fire.