Pants

Pants jokes

Foreskin

    • "OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."

    1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.

    From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."

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    • Dad

    • Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.

    Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.

    Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.

    Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.

    Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.

    Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.

    Kid: It's not an Apple product.

    Indian poor dad: It's a banana.

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    • Lady

    • Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."

    The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

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    • Pants memes

    Hat

    • Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.

    A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.

  • 0

    • Puma

    • A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”

    Hole

    • Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?

    In case he gets a hole in one.

  • 0

    • Mask

    • They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.

    They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.

    Jeffery Dahmer

    • Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.

    What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.

    But what is similar is tha-

    Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!

    Sorry 'bout that......

    Now, as I was saying,

    What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.

    Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!

  • 0

    • Teeth

    • When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."

    A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."

  • 0

    • Quarterback

    • A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

    They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

    After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.

    "Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

    Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

    She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"

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