Overeating jokes
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.
He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
Why do orphans hate apples?
Because they get picked over.
F*** man, I just need a f***ing loli to walk all over me!
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.
Couldn’t Be Me.
"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."
"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!