Otherness jokes
What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
Two sperms are racing towards the ovaries. One looks at the other and says, "Are we there yet?"
The other says, "No, we’ve got a long way to go. We’ve only passed the tonsils."
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"
The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"
If 6 guys are in a room with each other, is it technically a 6-pack?
What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?
One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One is finger-licking good, and the other is just a fast-food restaurant.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
What did the cannibal say to the other?
"Can I practise on you?"
I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.
They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”
Kid: You're so fat!
Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”