Otherness jokes

Difference

    • What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver? One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.

    Cheetah

    • I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.

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    • Heart Monitor

    • One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

    I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

    Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

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    • Butter

    • Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."

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    • Cat

    • People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.

    Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.

    Otherness memes

    Plane

    • A twin engine has two engines.

    If one engine stops, the other will have just enough power to get the plane to the scene of the accident.

    Ocean

    • What did the ocean say to the other ocean?

    Nothing. They just waved.

    Did you sea what I did there?

    Tonsil

    • One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

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    • Recipe

    • The Hodja purchased a piece of meat at the market, and on his way home he met a friend.

    Seeing the Hodja's purchase, the friend told him an excellent recipe for stew.

    "I'll forget it for sure," said the Hodja. "Write it on a piece of paper for me."

    The friend obliged him, and the Hodja continued on his way, the piece of meat in one hand and the recipe in the other. He had not walked far when suddenly a large hawk swooped down from the sky, snatched the meat, and flew away with it.

    "It will do you no good!" shouted the Hodja after the disappearing hawk. "I still have the recipe!"

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    • Masturbation

    • My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."

    Twin Towers

    • The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.

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    • Hunter

    • Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed.

    The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

    The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."

    There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

    Airforce

    • USS Liberty. Never forget.

    It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.

    Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?

    Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...

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