One

One jokes

Grandpa

    • My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

    Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

    "I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

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    • Shooting

    • Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

    Students: Hiding under desk.

    Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!

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    • Suicide

    • What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

    I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

    Self

    • Pov:You start writing son lyrics because you can't stand up for yourself knowing you've lost

    The image is a screenshot of a post on worstjokesever.com, displaying a conversation thread with several comments. It includes comments like 'Congratulations. No one gives a shit', 'Feeling right, looking tight. Come get the drinking shots on the rocks' and 'Ofc you're using song lyrics because you can't talk for yourself'.
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    • One memes

    Boob

    • What does one boob say to the other boob?

    If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

    People

    • How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?

    One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!

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    • Cheerio

    • The Cheerio Joke

    Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.

    So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.

    The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."

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    • Hitler

    • Why does no one like Hitler when he goes to the movies?

    Because he would count, "zehn, neun", and then it would all turn green.

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    • Miscarriage

    • What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.

    That one never gets old, just like the baby.

    Sibling

    • Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.

    Scientist

    • Three scientists are doing an experiment. They are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephant's ass.

    In the lab, they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. The monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass, and the scientists wait three weeks.

    The monkey pulls out the cork, and all three scientists go back and discuss what they saw.

    The first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown, then it all went black. The second, standing two miles away, said the same. The third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.

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