One jokes

Hi, um okay... Knock! Knock! Who's there? Doris! Doris who? Doris look I need the key!

Um...oh here another one! Okay...so sorry I type random things on these joke sites...anyway...okay. What is a book never written: "Beautiful sites of the corel rife written by the ocean!"

I made this one up myself just now.

Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

What's the difference between a rock and a woman?

The flat ones get skipped.

Me and my twin when we share a pizza: there can be only one!

Hi, I'm Claire. I am new to this website. I have been seeing these "Legends," and I've been tracking one specifically, watersharky. I have questions about him. Is he nice, protective, single? If anyone has any more information about him, please tell me.

So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "I’m gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."

One time my receipt broke before I even got to my truck.

A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."

The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.

Wanna hear a short joke? Well duh, I mean that's why you're on here... Well, here one...

My life.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.

I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?

But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.

What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?

"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"

The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.

A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."

I'm supposed to put a joke here.

But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?

I'm sure you'll laugh.

What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?

The bottom one ate its way out!

What’s one thing smarter than Stephen Hawking? His computer.

One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.

One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...

...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.