Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
So Joe was at the store and he was looking for a dildo.
Then he saw one made out of dick skin, so he grabbed it and uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh UhuhUhUhUhUhuHuHuHuHUHUHUHUHUHUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH went his mouth.
PENIS PENIS
person one: why did the boy go home? person two: why? person one: because he had PHOAM work to do!
Three copycats on a boat, one jumps off. How many are left? Zero, because they're copycats!
How can one make Death Row a little more fun?
Musical electric chairs.
One time I killed Sam, Stan, and Gran on Roblox, and she was really mad.
I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.
It's a sad state of affairs.
Jo mama so fat that when aliens invaded earth, they said, "Wow, two in one!"
Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?
Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
You: I want my mama.
Me: Soz, you can't even get one.
Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."
What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?
An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!
Gwen: Bastard, dummy, and is the dang ding one who started this, because of you Gwen I am now bullied! It's not the unknown will it is a lot but mostly you! AND ANNOYING YOU SHALL BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO WONDER EVERYONE HATES YOU!
Best, Tenya!
Dear prince,
Gwen is dating Aiden! I can tell by the emojis! She does not like you or the way you talk to her, not one bit!
P.S. She is and will always be dating Aiden! Leave a comment.
Q: Ten shepherds out in the sheep field. How do you know which one's gay?
A: He's the one the sheep fuck!
(I'm gay, and I know this joke is demeaning and inappropriate, but I still think it's funny as a 2-inch penis.)
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
