One jokes
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
One day Jack and Jill went up a hill. Jack got Jill drunk and horny, then took her to a hotel because Jack wanted to suck and lick her candy stick.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
"Rapeboat" has six fingers on each hand and one big eyebrow. Signs of inbreeding.
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
Why was the rapper always the first one at the party?
Because he never missed a beat!
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?
If you could add one zero to any number for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
Are you still a virgin?
If you do IT
With no one?
My great uncle died in a concentration camp.
He fell off one of the guard towers.
Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?
That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.