One jokes

What’s one thing smarter than Stephen Hawking? His computer.

One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.

A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."

One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...

...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.

The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.

Ok, wanna hear another one? Okay. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken from the other joke.

Yo mama's so nasty, they used to call them jumpolines 'til yo mama bounced on one.

Me and my twin when we share a pizza: there can be only one!

Hi, I'm Claire. I am new to this website. I have been seeing these "Legends," and I've been tracking one specifically, watersharky. I have questions about him. Is he nice, protective, single? If anyone has any more information about him, please tell me.

Why can't orphans tell jokes?

They have no one to tell them to, people.

Hi, um okay... Knock! Knock! Who's there? Doris! Doris who? Doris look I need the key!

Um...oh here another one! Okay...so sorry I type random things on these joke sites...anyway...okay. What is a book never written: "Beautiful sites of the corel rife written by the ocean!"

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

I made this one up myself just now.

Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.

One time my receipt broke before I even got to my truck.

So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "I’m gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."

One time I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage!

Why is the orphan cold?

'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.

An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?

The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.

What's the difference between a rock and a woman?

The flat ones get skipped.

Wanna hear a short joke? Well duh, I mean that's why you're on here... Well, here one...

My life.