One jokes

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"

I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."

"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."

Why do orphans have no home?

Because they didn't have a family to give them one.

One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.

Hey guys, starting tomorrow, I will put one letter of the "doin your mom" song every day. Can I finish the song?

Also, I might be in Fortnite, hehehehehe.

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"

"No, it's 26."

"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."

"You're missing one more."

"I'll give you the D later."

"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."

If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.

I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.

I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.

One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.

There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"

My father can take a joke because he made one.

Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?

My life.

What did one wall say to the other wall?

Meet you at the corner!

Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?

A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.

There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.

No one has my back like my dad.

Three good friends decided to meet in their favorite caffe.

The meetup was a successful one, because they all enjoyed themselves.