One jokes

A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."

He couldn't shoot straight.

I wish I could follow you, though.

But you need an account so I could follow you, but you don't have one. :'(

What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?

They have no one to call "Dad."

I need a new butt. This one has a hole in it.

When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...

Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.

Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?

"Ketchup!"

Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: Oh right, you don't have one *laughs*

Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right, you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS*

2021-2022

One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.

Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.

Why did a girl like bananas?

Because one day she might need to be ready.

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.

Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣

I just donated $100 to a blind children's charity, suck that no one will see it.

I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.

Welcome for the rhyme.

What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?

Man, you are really on edge.

There is only one reason why I find women useful.

That is because they make sandwiches, but that is about it.

Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.

Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.

Person one: What did the DJ name his son?

Person two: IDK, what?

Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).

If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"

What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?

S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.