One jokes
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
One time I ate a chair.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
I go in to get a prostate exam. I'm nervous, but the doctor says it's all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.
That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.
Why do orphans look at a house for so long?
'Cause they never had one.
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?
Getting your fingers stuck in there.
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.
Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."