One jokes
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
What did one copper say to the other? C U.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
There's something on your chin. No, not that one, the third row.
One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
Q: Why doesn’t Toledo have a professional football team?
A: Because then, Cincinnati would want one.
My grandma's got 99 problems, but a fat butt ain't one of 'em.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
What’s the difference between white people and Black people?
One runs from the police, one runs for the police.
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That is the electrician's job. I am a specialist.
How many software engineers?
Again, none. It's a hardware problem.
How many computer programmers to change a light bulb?
Two, but one resigns halfway through the project.
What's the difference between George Bush and Donald Trump?
One is into airline security, and one is into wall, turrets, and rockets.
What's the similarity between George Bush and Donald Trump?
It just doesn't work...
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."