Why can't Columbus be offered a professional football team?
Because then Cincinnati would want one too.
Columbus Football
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Explanation
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Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup. The joke is that if Columbus gets a pro football team, Cincinnati would want one too. It's like when you see your smarter classmates get a cool assignment, so you whine to your teacher so you can do it too. Get it now, genius?
ADadWhoDon'tKnowShit
Is that a shot at the Cincinnati Bengals I see?