One jokes

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.

What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.

If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?

They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️

One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?

A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.

Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.

Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.

Other family members: ...

What do emos and guys with a durag have in common? They both have waves, just one is on their arm.

How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.

Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."

Me: "I like it well done."

Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."

Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"

In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.

One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post

What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?

One Hung Lo.

How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. To hire the Mexicans.

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

I don't know, I don't have one.

Dark humor is like life:

Not everyone gets it.