One jokes
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" πππ
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
I don't know, I don't have one.
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
Wanna hear two short jokes and one long one?
joke, joke, jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
What do emos and guys with a durag have in common? They both have waves, just one is on their arm.
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "Iβm sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."
Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: βDo one to others as others do one to you.β βLee Olson, The Denver Post
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? Itβs either one or the udder.
I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesnβt beat her old primary school one. π
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.