One jokes
Why do Vampires like virgins?
Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
It's weird being an autistic eugenicist.
On one hand I want pussy and on the other hand I don't wanna pollute the white race with my genetic filth.
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?
Because he couldn't do standup.
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"
"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.
"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.
"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"
"You getting kicked out, bro?"
"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."
"Is she one of them woke bitches?"
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."
If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.