What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
Occupation Jokes
Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?
What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
Jose and Hose B.
Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "How?"
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
Because he was searching for the PERFECT FLOW.
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES gardening?
MC Planter.
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
To have someone to call "daddy!"
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
