Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.
It’s a job I can see myself doing.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
Why don't rappers ever become chefs?
Because they can't stop droppin' the beet!
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
Because he wanted to make some HONEY FLOWS.
Why do rappers make great fishermen?
They always have the best HOOKS.
Why did the rapper become a locksmith?
Because he always had the KEYS!
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?
I hear it hurt like hell.
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.
My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.
But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.
So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!
Why do cannibals not like to eat clowns?
Cause they taste funny!
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!
Why does Oscar Field have no friends? Because he spends time on his fields.
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
What kind of bus is yellow? A school bus driver.
What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.
