Occupation jokes
My dad is now a milkman.
Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
I did a ton of work, a skele-ton.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Memes
MORE DAD JOKES
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?
Because he has ALL of the booty!
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
Why is it hard having a relationship with an astronaut?
Because they are always so distant. :-]
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.