Occupation jokes
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
Stonk Boi: I’m a hitman
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"
What fell out of the tree first, the apple or the emo?
The apple, the emo was caught by the rope.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?
A fizzician.
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?
Because he has ALL of the booty!
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
I did a ton of work, a skele-ton.
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
Why is it hard having a relationship with an astronaut?
Because they are always so distant. :-]
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.