Occupation jokes
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova.
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
I'm looking for the bartender.
Person named Bart:
got my liscence
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"SUPPLIES!"
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
Bob the builder.
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?
'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?
I hear it hurt like hell.
I hear coal mining is a rock-bottom job.
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
What do you call a rapper who's also a GARDENER?
Snoop Soddy Sod.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.
I love working in an orphanage.
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes?
Sneakers.
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To NAIL his performances!