Occupation jokes
Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants.
A guy walks by and says, "Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants." The pirate responds, "I know. It's driving me nuts!"
What do you call a Black person flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist!
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
Stonk Boi: I’m a hitman
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
How do you make a juggler laugh? You tickle his balls.
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
What fell out of the tree first, the apple or the emo?
The apple, the emo was caught by the rope.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
I'm looking for the bartender.
Person named Bart:
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
My dad is now a milkman.
Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.