Occupation jokes
What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?
Magic-cop!
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
Because he wanted to make some HONEY FLOWS.
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
Why does Oscar Field have no friends? Because he spends time on his fields.
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!
I lick poo for a living... You?
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.
I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.
They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
What's the best name for a prostitute?
SI-MOAN.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?
I hear it hurt like hell.