Occupation jokes
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
What did the hairdresser say to the power line?
"Want a power cut?"
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?
Because he has ALL of the booty!
What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?
A fizzician.
How do you make a juggler laugh? You tickle his balls.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
Is Will Smith a blacksmith?
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
How do you make a plumber die?
You kill his family.
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.