My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?
Because it's a wrapper.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
What is the difference between whores and nuns?
Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
What's a chairmaker's favorite flavor?
Chair-y.
What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?
"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.
What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?
The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.
What’s a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
What's the difference between a nun and a prostitute taking a bath?
The nun has a soul full of hope...
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.
What do you call an egg murder?
An eggs-terminator!
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.
Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.
Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.
My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
