Occupation jokes
What did the bulldozer say to the house?
"I wanna bulldoze houses!"
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
What do you call a Pokémon that wants to be a police officer?
Magic-cop!
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,
It's great being a sniper.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the stage at the performance?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
There's a blind hooker in town.
She never sees anyone coming.
What do you call an Indian gravedigger?
Digdeep.
I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
What does the drummer call his twins? Anna 1, Anna 2.
Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.
He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.
FIRST DATE
Man: "I work with animals every day." Woman: "Oh, how sweet! What is it that you do?" Man: "I'm a butcher..."
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
Parademic
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!