Occupation jokes
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
Orphan: I want to be a relator.
Teacher: Why?
Orphan: Because I never had one in my childhood.
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
Joke: What do you call a gay alligator detective?
Answer: An Investigator
Is Will Smith a blacksmith?
What knight is never wrong?
Sir Tain.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
What's black, long and full of seamen?
A submarine.
Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂
What kind of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors. It’s a job I can see myself doing.
Age is just a number.
Police are just people.
Jail is just a room.
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bartender here?"
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!