Occupation jokes
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
What's black, long and full of seamen?
A submarine.
Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂
What kind of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.
It’s a job I can see myself doing.
Age is just a number.
Police are just people.
Jail is just a room.
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bartender here?"
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!
Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Cause they taste funny.
¿Qué hizo el cartero enojado?
Estampó su feeeeeeet!!!
What do you call an overweight psychic?
A four chin teller.
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
I hear coal mining is a rock-bottom job.
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.