What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
How does a prostitute that has blond hair and polish and a gay white male kill erectile dysfunction for his clients?
He performs fellatio on them.
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
I lick poo for a living... You?
The police told everyone to put their hands up, and the police were having fun waving their hands around.
Fishermen are the best at networking.
Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?
'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.
The toughest job I ever had was when I was selling doors, door-to-door.
Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.
