Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
Nutrition Jokes
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.
Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheel.
Why can't people in Africa have medicine?
Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach.
I make baby mush.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
Why is the orange 🍊 the fastest fruit?
Because it never runs out of juice.