Nutrition jokes
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.
Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
I make baby mush.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheel.
Why can't people in Africa have medicine?
Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
About 140 calories.