What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
Why can't people in Africa have medicine?
Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
The cannibal got angry, so he threw up his arms.
What's a cannibal's favorite place?
A day care.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
