Nutrition jokes
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
Answer: The table part.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.
No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
History is mostly just a list of things men did while women were busy making sure they didn't die of scurvy.
I make baby mush.
Why can't people in Africa have medicine?
Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
What is a Jamaican's idea of a balanced diet?
A joint in each hand.
What does Aaron eat for breakfast? Food.
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast!
Did you hear about the tomato and the lettuce race?
Well, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!